


Hope For Better

by Love_jupiter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Draco Malfoy is a Little Shit, F/M, First Time, Light Smut, Magic Bond, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Severus Snape Needs a Hug, Sick Hermione Granger, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, draco accidentally curses hermione and severus, hermione loves sev, one chapter has self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 18,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28125444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_jupiter/pseuds/Love_jupiter
Summary: During her fifth year at hogwarts, Hermione Granger and her potions professor are accidentally cursed in class
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 116
Kudos: 181





	1. Preface

"Obliviate!"   
Tears streamed down the professors face as his student looked around confused and disoriented. 

"Professor? What happened?" as far as she knew, she had never seen the man cry...

ONE YEAR EARLIER

Hermione Granger cringed at the unsettling stench of the brew before her. That's not right. She thought to herself.   
Professor snape had the students brewing a potion meant to dull chronic pain, but hers was off. While her classmates' cauldrons were boiling softly with a blue elixir, hers was bubbling sporadically with a foul green goop, smoking up her area with an odor worse than ronalds clothes hamper during the summer months.

“Miss Granger,” Professor Snape questioned in a drawn out hiss, “What on earth did you do to this disgrace of a potion?” She could have sworn she did everything right, but she didn't dare tell him that. 

His Dark eyes narrowed at the substance growing in her cauldron. “I didn't see you with toads urine, so why does your pot stink of it?” His question was undoubtedly heard throughout the classroom. Hermione heard a chuckle from behind her. Malfoy, of course. She rolled her eyes. 

“And what do you know of this Mister Malfoy?” Snape sneered at his godson.

“Oh nothing sir, only that granger is a bucktooth know-it-all and finally, little miss perfect has failed.” His grin never faltered as he spoke with malice. 

Snape knew better than to believe that's all the boy knew, but before he could respond to his students statement his least favorite student had drawn his wand at Draco and threw hex after hex at the boy. The blonde was quick to recover, drawing his own wand, countering Weasley’s every move. Cauldrons were knocked off of tables, viles flew off the shelves, and the floors smoked with the mixtures of elixirs and potions. Students climbed on chairs so that the unknown result of the mixture wouldn’t burn their feet.

“Ronald stop it!” Granger yelled, distracting her friend. He faced her with a questioning look but turned around just in time to dodge whatever curse malfoy had just thrown at him. Instead, the blue light sliced right through Hermione and into the professor behind her. 

The girl collapsed luckily onto the floor furthest from the dangerous burning substance while Snape's hand flew to where the curse entered his body as he screamed out once in pain before collecting himself. He kneeled down next to the unconscious girl checking for wounds, finding none. He lifted his own shirt to reveal that the curse didn't even leave a mark on his body. 

Many people sighed in relief as the frizzy haired girl began to stir, groaning in pain as she opened her eyes only to see the displayed abdomen of her professor hovering above her. Snape pulled his shirt back down before helping his student sit up. She winced as he did so. It didn't leave a mark but he had to admit, the curse had been painful and she'd taken the brunt of it. 

“Fetch madam pomfrey,” he yelled to noone in particular. “Weasley! Malfoy! One hundred points each from Gryffindor and Slytherin. The headmaster will deal with you both. Out of my sight NOW!” He yelled with the most malice and rage he could conjur. The mediwitch hurried in as soon as the two boys hurried out.


	2. Life force

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madam Pomfrey figures out what happened to hermione

Hermione was growing weaker by the minute the first few days after the incident. She stayed in the infirmary whilst several professors tried hard to figure out what curse she had been hit by. Not one person had a clue as to what it could be. Not even the boy who had cast in. 

In a fit of rage, Malfoy had recited a mixture of curses and incantations and professor Snape was riding his ass to figure out what they had been. The blonde didnt care what happened to the insufferable girl but he nearly worshiped his godfather so he wrote on a parchment everything he could think of that he might have used and gave it to the professor.

Professor Snape made it a point not to visit the deteriorating girl, he didn't want anyone to think he cared… Did he care? It didn't matter at this point. He left quickly with Draco's parchment in hand leaving the boy confused in his classroom. The man walked quickly trying to keep his composure before he gave up and broke into a run. He burst into the room loudly yelling “Poppy!” before plopping down harshly at the foot of Hermione's bed, not caring to pull up a chair.

“Severus! What is the meaning of this?” The mediwitch scolded.

The man said nothing, only holding out the parchment while trying to catch his breath. Poppy Pomfrey read over the list that the professor before her didn't even glance at before running to her. 

“This is a list of bonding spells and life draining curses. A few of these curses mimic death. Why have you brought me this?” 

His eyes went wide. “Bonding spells?” 

The girl in the bed began to stir slightly, groaning in her sleep. Poppy rushed to her side.

“She hasn't moved in since she came in.” she said excitedly. She checked the girl's pulse as the potions professor moved to Hermione's side, resting his hand on the girl’s wrist. Poppy gasped.

“Severus move your hand.” She demanded. 

He sneered “Do you think my caring is inappropriate?” This is why I keep my distance from students… I can't afford these absurd accusations. He thought to himself.

“Don't make assumptions Severus.” She snapped back. “Please touch the girl again.” She continued to check her pulse.

He scoffed but did as he was told. Her skin felt cold under his touch. He adjusted her blanket in hopes to warm her. 

Poppy watched intently as the professor cared for his student. It was then she understood what was going on. 

“Was that the list from Mister Malfoy?” she asked referring to the parchment he gave her. Snape only nodded. “Stay with Miss Granger please. I'll be right back.” Again he only nodded. 

Hermione's skin began to warm slightly as she continued to groan in her slumber. Professor Snape couldn't bring himself to remove his hand from her wrist, instead he began to gently stroke it with his thumb. He watched as her face contorted wondering if she was in much pain. 

He never let himself worry about a student except for Harry Potter but that was only because the fate of the world was on that students shoulders. He never worried but now his stomach twisted and dropped everytime Hermione's breathing pattern changed, or her pulse fluttered under his fingers. He watched as her eyes opened slightly before she fell back into her slumber.

“Miss granger?” he questioned softly, “Are you awake?” She didn't answer. He sank back into his seat. 

Poppy rushed back in the room with Dumbledore and Mcgonagall in tow. The three of them joined Severus at Hermione's bedside before Poppy began to speak.

“I've figured it out!” she gushed, “And i know how to help her.” 

Snape felt relief flood through his worried body and he moved his hand away from the girl and to his own face. 

Poppy's face fell at his action. “Actual severus, i need you to put your hand back on her while we discuss.” 

It was clear that everyone was confused by poppy’s request but nonetheless, Severus obeyed. He gently placed his hand back on her wrist as poppy nodded her head in approval. 

“What is the meaning of this Madam?” Minerva questioned in dismay. “It is highly inappropriate for a teacher to touch his student.”

“Yes professor, but in this case, it is highly necessary.” she replied sternly.

“Please explain poppy.” Dumbledore calmly demanded. 

“Yes. Well i believe Miss Granger and professor Snape were hit by a mixture of curses including, a life draining curse, a death mimicking curse, and an intense bonding spell. The bonding spell is keeping Miss granger alive.” She explained. 

“The bonding spell?” Snape questioned. “She's bonded to me?” His face grew pale as the mediwitch nodded.

“You are the only thing keeping the girl alive, Severus. She started getting stronger as soon as you entered the room. Her pulse became steady as soon as you touched her. I believe she will wake up if you're near. The stronger she gets the less you'll have to be around eachother, but for now sir, she needs you.”

Severus’ head spun as the other three discussed how to handle the situation. He was the only thing keeping her alive? How was he going to stay close to her and be her life force while continuing his work as a professor and as a death eater spy? 

“We will move her to your chambers where you will stay with her until she wakes.” Dumbledore informed him. 

He could feel the rage consume him as he did everything in his power not to get up and find the two boys who caused this and end their lives in a very slow and painful way. Instead he picked up the girl he would now care for and carried her silently to his chambers.


	3. Waking up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione wakes up

Hermione had been unconscious in Severus’ chambers for almost a week. He noticed her getting stronger, her fever dropping, her lips retaining color. The closer he was to her, the more she moved, the steadier her pulse became, the more even her breathing was. So he spent most of his time as he was doing now, reading silently on his couch with her head laid gently in his lap.

He hardly ever read fiction, but he was immersing himself in the story to distract himself from the absurdity that was this situation. He hardly noticed her groaning and stirring, or that his fingers were subconsciously grazing the skin of her arm. He didn't want to admit to himself that he wasn't as uncomfortable as he should be. He might actually enjoy the silent company. 

He wondered how she might react if she should wake up in his lap. Would she scream for him to get his filthy hands away from her? Would she hex him into oblivion? Or would she perhaps calmly ask him what was happening? 

Would he feel annoyed at her presence when she was finally able to speak again, or would her company be enjoyable?

And the most important question, what would happen to her when he was inevitably summoned by the dark lord?

No, he didn't want to think of it at all. He stayed immersed in a muggle book about a boy who fell in love with the niece of the town recluse who ended up being ‘not a witch’ a caster. He was quite entertained by the tales of Ethan Wate and his magical girlfriend, Lena. He found himself reading out loud when his student began to mumble.

“Miss granger?” he questioned hoping for a reply.

“Beautiful Creatures.” she mumbled with her eyes closed. “Love that book.” She rolled over in his lap before falling back into her slumber. 

Severus grinned slightly then continued to read aloud for her, his fingers only leaving her arm to turn the page. 

‘This is only for her benefit’. He thought to himself. ‘It's not inappropriate if it's keeping her alive.’

He kept trying to convince himself of that but deep down he knew this was wrong. Not the part where it kept her alive, but the part where he was annoyed with her presence, the part where stroking his students skin, having her asleep in his lap, just didn't bother him. 

At first he was completely outraged at the idea of having her in his personal chambers, and maybe once she was actually awake he would feel that way again… he hoped he would feel that way. He did not want to enjoy having her here, and if he did, he certainly would not let her know that. 

Her eyes opened. She gasped in shock as she realized, she was not in her own bed and she was not alone. She couldn't see his face behind the book, but she recognized the low rasp of his voice as he read out loud.

“Pr-professor?” she questioned skeptically. 

He looked down at her face noticing the confusion in her eyes.

“What the hell?” she groaned as she tried to sit up. He gently pushed her back down.

“You're not strong enough to sit up yet, Miss Granger.” he stated trying to sound cold. “I would advise you to relax while i explain why we're in this rather uncomfortable predicament.” ‘Was that harsh enough.’

She wanted to protest but he shot a glare as soon as she opened her mouth. 

Hermione listened intently as her professor explained exactly where she was and why she had to be there before he started reading again. The movement of his fingers relaxed her until she was in a trance, following along with the story in her mind until she fell into a natural slumber.

Her steady breathing gave Severus a feeling of content, or was he just tired? He decided on the latter. He closed the book, trading it for a throw blanket draping it over her waist before leaning back and succumbing to sleep himself.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione felt well rested as she sat up for the first time in nearly two weeks. She almost wondered if the previous night had been a dream until she looked to her left and there he was, professor snape sat up sleeping silently.

‘That cannot be comfortable.’ She thought to herself. She was proven right when his eyes opened and he groaned before trying to rub out a kink in his neck. His sleepy face contorted as he tried to stretch as well. She watched as he sat up straight and yawned before looking over at her questioningly.

‘Crap, he caught me staring.’ 

“Good morning Miss Granger.” He greeted her. She was too shocked by his sleepy voice to reply. Instead she sat there stunned with her mouth slightly opened. She watched him as he watched her compose herself. He chuckled and she was stunned again. The process continued until he was in a small fit of laughter at the girl's reaction towards him. This was the first time she'd ever seen him show any emotion aside from disdain. 

“Miss granger, as amusing as it is to watch you gawk at me I think it would be wise to get some food into your body.” Her stomach loudly grumbled at his statement. “Yes i thought so. Can you stand?” he asked. 

Hermione nodded before she pulled herself up onto wobbly legs then falling back down onto the couch with a grunt. 

Snape rolled his eyes pretending to be annoyed before helping her up and slowly walking her to his kitchen. He carefully sat her down at his table and then began collecting ingredients and turned on the stove. 

The longer he wasn't next to her the more dizzy she began to feel. He noticed this and scooted her chair next to him by the stove. 

And there started their new routine.


	4. Body issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione needs a shower

The next few days went on without a hitch. Snape tried to feign disdain but remained quite civil towards the student invading his space. They found a good routine which consisted mostly of reading or silently studying. 

Hermione was growing stronger each day. She was able to function properly now as long as they were in the same room. Still they stayed comfortably close. 

Snape was able to sleep alone in his bed now with Hermione on a cott opposite the foot of his bed. As inappropriate as it was, the pair grew used to each other and found the breaths of their opposite comforting when falling asleep. 

The two didn't talk much in the three days hermione had been awake aside from a couple impromptu potion lessons. Hermione hated to admit it but she was too embarrassed to ask for anything she needed, so she waited until he offered or told her she could help herself. She was beginning to smell having not showered for two weeks due to being unconscious most of it, and he had not offered her use of his shower. 

How would that work anyway. He can't walk two feet into the kitchen without her becoming sick. She’d need at least 15 minutes to get clean, probably more as her hair was more unruly than usual. The couple times she'd seen herself in the mirror she had wondered how the man didn't wretch at the sight of her. Her face was still pale though slowly gaining color, and her eyes were sunken in with deep purple circles underneath them. Her hair was a tangled mess and she wore the same clothes she had when Malfoy had thrown the curse. They would have to figure something out because she was completely disgusting.

“Professor?” He looked up from his book in acknowledgment. “I um- I think- Uhh umm- im- ah-” She couldn't find her words until he calmly yet rather rudely interrupted,

“Miss granger, please just spit it out.”

“I'm utterly disgusting!” She blurted out before a tint of red spread across her cheeks. 

“That you are,” he snickered. “Would you like a shower?”

“Yes please, but how.” She asked. She was relieved he was taking this lightheartedly.

She followed professor snape to his bed chambers where he brought out a towel and some of his own sleep clothes.

“I'll send someone for your things in the morning. I'd take you up myself, but no one knows where you are.” He stated. 

“They don't?”

“No. They believe us both to be stuck in a hospital trying to figure out what we were cursed with. We wouldn't want any rumors of a student staying in a teachers private chambers now would we?” He smirked at her. She understood what he was getting at.

“No we certainly would not.” She smiled. 

Severus sat in the open doorway of the bathroom facing his bed chambers while Hermione took a shower. It felt amazing to finally wash all the dirt from her body and his soap smelled fantastic. She pulled the soap through her hair in an attempt to untangle it without luck. 

“Damned stupid hair! Ugh!” She grumbled to herself. 

Snape chuckled as he listened to her struggle. “Might be wise to give up on that one.” he teased from the doorway.

She felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she realized he could hear her. “Sorry professor.”

“No need for that miss granger.”he grinned though she couldn't see it. This was quite entertaining for him.

She finally gave up on her curls and turned off the water. She pulled back the curtain and quickly wrapped herself in the towel he gave her. 

‘He could easily turn around and see me’ She worried silently. ‘That would be mortifying’ 

He smirked having read her thoughts. He was surprised however that the reason it would be so embarrassing for her would not be because he's a greasy old git, but because she was embarrassed of her own body. He wondered why. He had never actually paid attention to how she looked, but no he was curious. 

‘No! Eyes to yourself Severus. Even after she's dressed, eyes to yourself.’ 

He fought the urge to look back and see for himself what was so bad about the girl's body, and he hated himself for even considering it. Snape mentally willed the girl to dress herself faster lest he give in to his temptations. It wasn't sexual, no, it was strictly curiosity. But he doubted she'd see it that way. 

After what felt like an agonizingly long time she tapped his shoulder. He looked up at her questioningly relieved to see her fully dressed in extremely baggy clothes… His clothes. He actually blushed at the sight. 

“Would you like me to fix supper tonight professor?” she offered kindly. He nodded and followed her into the kitchen.

Her thoughts were so loud he didn't even have to try too hard to hear them. He thought it must be part of the bond.

‘ I look terrible. My breasts are too small, like Draco said a few weeks ago.’

He sneered at the mention of Malfoy commenting on her chest.

‘My hair is too big, my arse is too flat.’

She was right about her hair, but it suited her. He wondered if she was right about her bottom as well but he didn't dare look. He kept his eyes on the random book he had picked up to distract himself.

‘And i'm so pale. I haven't seen the sun in weeks. My ribs are showing too much, I'm too skinny. Any man would cringe at the sight of my naked body. Especially an older more sophisticated man such as professor snape. Ugh.’

He blushed a dangerous shade of red at the mention of his name.

‘Why do I even think like that. He would never even think to look at me, nor should I want him to… do I want him to?’

Does she? He couldn't help but wonder.

‘That's so unlike me, It must be the bond.’

“Yes, Miss Granger it must be.” He replied to her thoughts without thinking… oops

“Excuse me?” had she been thinking out loud.

“Your thoughts are particularly loud this evening.”


	5. Shower Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione cant control her thoughts.

“You can hear my thoughts?” She asked

“I can invade almost anyone's private thoughts, however yours were more screaming at me, I wasn't even trying to listen.” He answered honestly.

“O-oh” The girl was clearly embarrassed

“And I believe you’re right Miss Granger.” Snape stood from his seat at the table and walked slowly towards the girl.

“R-right about what sir?” Hermione stuttered. He was standing right in front of her a bit too close. Her face flushed an even darker shade of red if that was possible. 

“It must be the bond,” He reached up to lift her chin. “Because I've been having very… similar thoughts.” He moved his hand away from her and sat back down at the table. “But we must ignore those thoughts Miss Granger. It would be highly inappropriate if we didn't.”

“Yes professor, it would be.”

The next couple days, Hermione was hyper aware of her thoughts. She would often catch herself wondering what it would be like to touch the professor's skin, his lips, his--- But then she would curse herself.

’No, Hermione. stop that. It's only the bond, and it is highly inappropriate’ Shed think. He chuckled everytime she did this. ’Stay out of my mind snape’ He'd laugh even harder at this one.

His thoughts were getting out of control as well, though he hid it better than she did. It would be so much easier if all her thoughts about him would stop screaming at him, so insistent that he listened.

Today the two were sitting across from each other at the table, snape reading the second book in the beautiful creatures series out loud. Hermione couldn't help but watch the way his mouth moved. His voice sent shivers down her spine. She almost found it sexy, the way his tongue formed the words in his mouth while his voice droned slowly through the room. She found herself imagining what it would sound like if he whispered certain things in her ear, what it would feel like if he ran his tongue down her belly, lower… lower..

She was pulled from her thoughts when he heard a grunt from across the table. She looked up to see a blushing Snape avoiding her gaze.

“Please Miss Granger… Try to control your thoughts.” He looked pained as he begged.

“Oh gods!” Hermione hid her face in her hands. “Im sorry sir”

Hearing her call him sir only made him grunt again.

“Gods Hermione, I'm sorry, I have to...Gods!” He stood and rushed out of the kitchen to his bathroom.

She wouldn't have followed if she didn't have to. She was already embarrassed enough. She sat with her back against the door he never closed. When one of them needed to shower or use the toilet, the other would sit with their backs turned in the doorway so that Hermione wouldn't get sick. She could already feel her stomach churning when he remembered. 

“Shit!” He opened the door and rushed to grab a towel making a point not to face towards her. He reentered the bathroom leaving the door open this time turning the shower on cold. She could hear his clothes dropping to the floor.

’ Control your thoughts Hermione’ She bit her lip

“Yes please do that Miss Granger. Shit its cold.” He said the last part to himself. 

Realization struck her. He was taking a cold shower. He was--- She felt her face heat up and her stomach tighten. What if she…

’Gods mione. Stop. Distract yourself. Uhh 9, 18, 27, 36, 45…’ 

“Are you counting in nines?” He asked her through the curtain.

“It's better than the alternative professor.” She knew the alternative would be her thinking about climbing into the shower with him and…

Her thoughts were cut off again.

“Please Miss Granger, I beg of you. Distract yourself so that my standing under this freezing cold water isn't completely useless. Anything but maths.” 

“Uhh” she began to think of the least sexy thing she could think of. She forced her mind to picture two months ago, Ron was shirtless in the common rooms checking himself out. The bloke thought he was sexy. He must not have realized that his back was covered in giant foul looking pimples and his belly was covered in the splotchiest red hair. It was awful. 

That was enough to calm Severus down. He turned off the shower and wrapped his waist in a towel before stepping out.

’That was the nastiest thing i've ever seen. I've seen plenty of guys shirtless. None like that… she accidentally let her mind slip to the moment right after she was cursed. The professor hovering over her with his shirt lifted. One hand on her abdomen, the other gliding over the smooth, taught muscles of his own. She wanted to know what that felt like. All of a sudden she was hyper aware of the fact that he was behind her, most likely still in his towel. She could easily turn around and see him once again like she had in the classroom that night. She could easily reach up and…

“Good lord Granger! If you're that horny Just go in there and get yourself off.” She couldn't tell if he was joking. “I'm not. I'm dead serious. I can't handle these thoughts of yours and trust me you do not want me to break.” He exited the bathroom fully dressed and helped her up off the floor.

’Maybe i do’ She didn't mean to think that but it was too late. 

He roughly pinned her against the wall by her neck. She gulped as she became too aware of the pulsing in her lower regions. He leaned in so that his mouth was next to her ear before gently biting her lobe. 

“You don't.” He growled. Her knees went weak as he let her go. “I'm going to bed.” He stated before laying down and pulling the covers up over him.

Hermione sank to the ground and stayed there until she could bring herself to move.


	6. The Flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione gets sick

In the following days, Hermione did a much better job at controlling her thoughts. Instead of trying to ignore her sexual feelings she would simply reroute them into more friendly ideas, much to Severus’ appreciation. 

’Professor snape is so… um… good at wizards chess. I wonder if he'd beat Ron.’

As much as he appreciated her trying, he found it very funny. She would often catch him chuckling at her attempts and scowl at him. He thought that was cute. 

He was having a hard time controlling his own mind, especially at night when she was asleep… She couldn't redirect her thoughts in her sleep. He was more than glad that she couldn't hear what he was thinking everytime she did something cute, or when she let out small little gasps in her sleep, coupled by her sleep induced fantasies of him… on top of her. 

It wasnt completely sexual for him either. It was mostly crippling curiosity mixed with an emotion he'd never felt before. He'd listen intently to her dreams of him and silently watch her face as she slept. Her lips would part slightly with every gasp, her eyes would flutter under her lids, her cheeks would tint a perfect pink, oh she was so beautiful. He could almost drown out the vivid thoughts of him kissing her shoulder, and her neck, and her soft lovely lips…

She stopped dreaming suddenly to his disappointment. He sighed and laid back on his bed before drifting off into a deep sleep.

The next morning he woke to the sound of banging on the wall. He sat up to see Hermione stumbling to the bathroom after running straight into a wall. 

“Miss Granger?” He quickly shed his blankets and followed his student into the bathroom to see her crouched down over his toilet. “Oh crap.”

He rushed to her side just in time to hold her hair back as she retched into the toilet before she leaned back and fainted in his arms.

“Granger?” He tried to wake her. “Miss Granger?” She didn't answer. “Hermione, wake up.” He carried her to the couch and laid her head in his lap like he did before she woke up.

He felt her head noticing she was a bit warm and clammy, but before he could assess her any further he heard a gasp from the fireplace.

There stood Professor Minerva McGonagall shaking her head in dismay.

“What on earth do you think you are doing, Severus?” She was clearly not happy.

“What are you going on about, Minerva?” He asked while he gently stroked his students' hair.

“You! Violating that poor girl!” She yelled back at him.

“Hush now Minnie,” He looked down sadly at the girl in his lap. “She's sick. She needs this… She needs strength...She needs me.” 

“The bond?” The woman asked 

“Yes the bond.” a tear fell down his cheek. “The damned bond.”

“What's going on. What's wrong?” The woman’s previous anger turned into genuine concern for the professor and the girl laid in his lap.

A sob escaped his lips. “Gods. This damned curse.. It's so.. Ugh it's all so highly inappropriate.” He wiped his eyes. “I can hear everything she thinks about me minerva and her thoughts are not those of an innocent girl… and I'm about to break. It's all because of the damned bond. She wants me… and.. And it's so inappropriate, but damned if i'm not falling in love with the girl.” He buried his face in his hands.

“Professor?” Hermione stirred. “What's wrong?” 

Severus began to laugh sadly. “Nothing now that you're awake dear.”

“Oh.” She replied sleepily. “I don't feel well sir. I think i've got the flu.” 

“It's okay Miss Granger.” He spoke softly, gently running his fingers through her hair. “Just relax.”

“But i'll get you sick.” She worried out loud.

He chuckled. “Only muggle borns can get muggle illnesses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the boring chapter.


	7. Back to class.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hermiones innability to control her thoughts puts severus in an awkward situatio

Severus Snape was worried for his sanity. Hermione kicked the flu a couple days ago and her thoughts were back on him. She still tried to distract herself with friendly comments instead of longing ones, but she slipped a lot. He didnt know how much longer he could take the torture. 

Dumbledore decided it was time for the two to continue class. Today would be their first day out of Snape's chambers since they were cursed and Hermione wasn't prepared for the questions she knew her friends would ask. One of which would be why she wouldn't be able to stay for the whole class. 

After a simple test of being apart, Poppy concluded that Hermione could go 9 minutes without feeling nauseous, 15 minutes without feeling dizzy, and about 25 minutes before she would faint. So the plan was that Hermione would stay in each class for 20 minutes and then meet Professor Snape in his chambers to ‘recharge’ for an hour. This way she could attend at least part of some of her classes a day. Snape would come up with lesson plans that didn't require him to be in class the whole time so that he could be with Hermione when she needed him.

He woke her up early that morning so she could shower for her first day back. Her sleepy thoughts were of him joining her under the warm water, running a cloth over her naked body. He tried his best to ignore the thoughts. He didn't want to call her out and embarrass her that day. His shower was a cold one. 

They were the first in the great hall for breakfast that day. Hermione took her seat at the gryffindor table on the end closest to where Snape sat with the rest of the professors. 

All at once, students came rushing in and taking their seats with their assigned houses. Harry was the first to notice Hermione, rushing past Ron and Ginny taking the seat directly next to her. 

“You're back!” He almost yelled. “Where have you been?” 

“The hospital Harry. Calm down.” She lied. 

“It's so nice to see you mione. I'm glad you're okay.” Ginny chimed in. 

“Did they figure out what Malfoy hit you with. He was aiming for me y’know.” Ron started.

Soon all her friends were throwing questions at her, not giving her time to answer. She was more than overwhelmed. She laid her head down in defeat.

Snape watched as the girl laid her head on her folded arms without even touching her food. The worried man stood up to check on her but was stopped by Minerva’s hand on his shoulder.

“Let her be Severus. She's just a bit overwhelmed.”

He sat back down ignoring his meal. What if she needed him. He would hear it in her thoughts wouldn't he? He kept all his focus on her, not caring who caught him staring at the girl.

Hermione's first class went on without a hitch. She was very tired after going twenty minutes without the professor. As soon as she got back to his chambers she plopped down face first on the sofa. He came in shortly after.

Severus kneeled down next to her, moving her hair out of her face. “Are you okay Miss Granger?”

“Mmm.. Yeah, just a bit dizzy.” She answered honestly.

“Sit up.”

“But--”

“Sit up Hermione.” he demanded.

She blushed at the use of her first name and sat up slowly. It was a difficult task but she managed.

He sat down next to her and pushed her back down gently. He knew she was most comfortable with her head in his lap.

Hermione was asleep in a matter of minutes. He watched her face intently as her eyes began to flutter beneath her lids. Her lips parted slightly and she let out a cute little gasp, her cheeks tinted red. Severus grazed her cheek softly with his thumb as he watched her dream.

‘He wore only a pair of black sleep pants. She blushed at his displayed abdomen. She noticed him watching her with hungry eyes as she stalked closer to him. He moaned as she ran her small hands down his chest, lower… lower.’

He jumped out of his seat, waking her before he could see where the dream was going. It was too much for him. Any longer and he would surely break. 

“Professor?” she asked, confused. “What happened?”

“Uhhh.” He quickly used his hands to cover the visible outline in his pants as a bright shade of red spread over his cheeks and down his neck. “You were just umm… dreaming.”

Realization struck her as her eyes flashed down to his hands. She quickly looked away. “O-oh.”

He turned around and sat down on the floor leaning his back against the couch. He brought his knees to his chest in order to hide the prominent bulge in his pants. He was struck with guilt.

“I'm sorry Miss granger.” He apologized. “I know how wrong it is for me to react this way.” He buried his face in his hands.

“It's not your fault sir.”

Damn her calling him sir. He almost moaned. Instead he shot her a pained glance. 

He wanted so badly to pin her against the couch she sat on. Kiss her beautiful lips. Slip his hands under her shirt.

He groaned deeply in his throat. It only made it worse knowing she wanted that too.

It took Snape a minute to calm himself down but he did. It was time for Hermione's next class… his class.

She would be able to attend the whole class this period thanks to him being her teacher and she had to admit, she was very excited to have even a hint of normalcy back in her life. So of course she was the first student in class.

She watched the way he moved as he wrote ingredients down on the board. She wondered what his muscles looked like moving underneath his robes.   
As the rest of the class filed into the room she heard a snicker and felt a presence behind her. Dracos body was far too close to her own as he whispered in her ear. 

“Back for more are we?” He asked seductively. Was he trying to flirt with her? After permanently bonding her to another man was the idiot seriously trying to flirt with her.

Severus grew angry at the sight. A scowl was prominent on his face.

“Malfoy back off Miss Granger and take your seat, 10 points from slytherin.” He hissed.

Draco scoffed but did as he was told. 

Snape had rescued her, and the way his voice sounded in that moment sent a pool of moisture to her lower regions. She wondered if she'd like him to use that voice on her. Yes she very much would like it, him drawing out her name in a low hiss scolding her. He’d press himself against her back, his hand holding her by the neck, forcing her to behave before bending her over his desk and---

“Damn! The git’s got a boner.” Ron yelled next to her. 

‘Shit’ She thought. Was she ever going to be able to control her thoughts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any ideas or suggestions for this story olease let me know.


	8. Cold Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets back at Hermione

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dangerous Snape makes an appearance.

Hermione sat on Snape’s couch watching the man pace back and forth in front of him. The events that had taken place only an hour ago were still fresh in his mind.

Ronald Weasley had caught him with a boner in the middle of class after one of Hermione's fantasies got out of hand. Of course Snape was able to cover up fast enough that no one believed him, and he got 50 points taken from Gryffindor for calling the professor a git. But it was still a stressful situation, and Severus had no idea how to deal with it.

“Im so sorry professor.” Hermione apologized for the seventh time in the last 30 minutes.

He knew it wasn't intentional but still. Something had to be done. That could have been way worse than it was had anyone else seen.

“Severus.” He hissed in a hushed tone.

“I'm sorry?” She didn't understand

“There really isn't a point in the formalities anymore is there hermione.” It was a rhetorical question. “Please just call me by my name while we are away from other students.”

“O-kay sir.” He shot her a glare. That name was torture. “I mean S-severus.” She blushed bright red. 

Severus continued pacing hoping for a solution. He could yell at her… no it wasn't her fault. He could tell her it was never gonna happen… but that would be harsh and it might very well be untrue. He donned an evil grin when the idea finally came to him.

“You really don't want to behave now do you Miss Granger?” He referenced the fantasy that got them into this predicament in the same tone of voice he had used on malfoy. She did so enjoy that voice.

Hermione's stomach dropped and her face became hot.

“Maybe I should show you what I have to go through when you misbehave. Would that teach you a lesson Miss Granger?” His sexy voice droned slowly through the room. She shivered.

Severus walked slowly towards his student before leaning down towards her. He placed his hands on the couch on either side of her shoulders trapping her there. His mouth Hovered only centimeters from hers, his nose grazing her cheek. He breathed her in before moving his mouth to hover near her right ear.

“Maybe I should punish you.” He teased. She gulped.

Severus let his hand push her hair away from her neck before caressing the spot just beneath her jaw. He could feel her rapid pulse beneath his fingers. He moved his mouth over her neck next. He wanted to kiss her so bad. He could easily lick the tender part of her throat...but he didn't. Instead he moved slowly back up to her ear, making sure she could feel his hot breath on her neck as he moved upward. He let his teeth graze her lobe as he'd done before. She let out a soft gasp. It could have killed him if he wasn't so intent on his goal.

“Stand up.” He demanded in her ear.

“I-I..”

“I said stand up didn’t I Miss Granger?” He gave her a stern look. 

She could only nod in response before she rose to her feet. Her knees were weak beneath her.

“You want me Miss Granger… I can smell your arousal. Unfortunately I can't let you have me.” 

His voice was so low she could barely comprehend what he was saying, only that it sounded wonderful and she didnt care what he was getting at. She wanted him. Shed never wanted anything before the way she wanted him.

“Come dear. I'll show you what I have to do when you make me feel that way.”

Hermione was in a complete daze as Severus led her to his bathroom. He turned the shower on, completely--- cold. 

“Get in.” He demanded before turning around and sitting in the doorway. 

He wanted so badly to watch her undress, but he couldn't… that was the point in all of this.

“Sir?”

He moaned out loud. The way the word fell from her lips. He could burst right then.

“I. Said. Get. In.” 

She obeyed. The cold water felt like shards of ice on her hot skin and her arousal went away immediately. 

She let out a slight screech and he chuckled. 

“That's what I thought.” He said through laughs.

Hermione turned off the water and shivered before wrapping herself in a towel.

“Oh I am so gonna get you back for that Severus Snape.” And she wasn't kidding.

“I'd like to see you try.” He teased.

Snape thought he had the upperhand in this situation until she walked past him into the living room clad only in a towel. 

He groaned at the sight knowing that if he got up, he wouldn't be able to restrain himself.

“Come sit with me sir.”


	9. I Cant Touch You!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is angry

Severus was angry. He had tried to teach the girl a lesson but it backfired. Now she was sitting on his couch in nothing but a towel, and as sexy as that was, he was fuming.

He took a minute to gather his wits before marching in there after her.

“What the hell Hermione!” He yelled “What do you think you are doing.” The girl flinched at his harsh tone.

“I just...I…” 

“No! This cannot happen! Do you understand just how inappropriate this is?” He scolded.

“What and what you just did on the couch wasn’t inappropriate?” She argued back. 

“Of course it was Hermione, of course it was. But I need it to stop dont you get that?”

“Why? Why do you need it so badly?” She was getting angry.

“Because it's wrong. It's so wrong because i want to, but I. Cant. Touch. You.” He began pacing, his hands pulling at his hair. The sight pained Hermione. 

“You… You want to?” Her voice was soft. 

“I CANT!” He screamed back. Tears began falling down his cheeks. He knew it was wrong that he wanted her… That he was falling for her. He was so angry that this had happened, that he'd even had a reason to be near the poor girl. It was inevitable that he'd hurt her.

She gently placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, but this sent him over the edge and in a matter of seconds she was once again pinned against the wall, his hand on her throat. 

Their breathing was heavy and erotic as his lips hovered over hers. Their noses grazed as he leaned in, and pulled away, repeating that process over again. Every so often a quiet gasp would escape her lips and he'd get closer and closer to giving in. She let her left hand travel up his side, but he couldn't have that. 

In less than a second he had captured her wrist and pinned it to the wall above her head. He slowly did the same to her oher wrist. She bit her lip to stifle a moan.

There they stood forehead to forehead unable to comprehend what was happening. Neither of them could quite catch their breath and the only thing they knew for certain was as wrong as this was, gods did it feel right… But he knew better.

She could feel him holding himself back. She could sense it in the way his muscles strained against her, in the way his breath became heavy, in the way his eyelids fluttered. He wanted her and she knew it.

“Give in Severus.” She pleaded. 

He leaned in towards her lips. She thought this could be it. But instead he pressed his soft beautiful mouth against her forehead in a gentle, loving kiss.

“I can’t…” He let go of her and began to walk away when he felt it.

He winced in pain as his wrist began to burn.

“No no no no no. This can't be happening.” His face contorted as he realized he had no choice. He would have to leave her. 

“What's going on? Are you okay? What's happening?” She rushed to his side worried. 

He placed both hands on her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.

“Listen Hermione, there are things you wouldn't understand, you hate me if---” He started.

“You're being summoned aren't you?” She interrupted

“You know?”

She nodded. “Harry told me.”

“I have to go… but I can't leave you.”

“You have to Severus… Go now and be careful please.”

He had no choice but to listen to her, so in a matter of seconds he found himself in malfoy manor, and she was alone.


	10. His Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione grows weak in serverus's abscence

“Welcome Severus.” The dark lord droned. His voice was rather unpleasant in Severus's ears.

“Master.” He greeted with a nod.

The meeting began as the rest of Voldemort's most trusted filed into the room, seating themselves at the large table in the middle of the room. Each member gave their updates as Severus let his thoughts focus on the girl who was undoubtedly growing weak left alone in his chambers.

His leg began to shake in anticipation as he worried for her health. How long would this meeting last? What happens if i get there and she's----

“Severus?” The unpleasant voice rang.

“Yes master?” Severus questioned trying to hide the malice in his voice.

“Young Malfoy here has informed me that you had gone awol for nearly a month!” He hissed. “Care to explain!”

“Of course, it seems Mister Malfoy has failed to mention that I was rather...incompassitated for such a time.”

“Incompassitated?” The evil man spat.

“Yes sir, I was accidentally cursed whilst Mister Malfoy here was engaged in a magical brawl with Harry Potter's dimwitted friend. I've spent much of my time receiving treatment. I'm actually missing one right now.” He lied.

Severus feigned weakness in an attempt to escape the wretched meating and return to his Hermione.

“Ah I see. Is this true Draco?” The boy nodded his reply. “Well then Severus, I see no reason to keep you from your treatment, as long as it won't distract you from the plan.”

“No sir.” He replied. “The plan is set to move into action eleven months from now.” 

“Good. You are free to go.”

Snape drudged to the fireplace in an attempt to look sickly before flooing back to his chambers.

“Hermione?” He yelled as he began his search for the girl. 

Her reply never came.

She wasn't on the couch or in the nook where he'd often find her helping herself to his massive book collection. He panicked when she wasn't sitting at the kitchen table or searching the pantry for her favorite snack. The lights weren't on but she wasnt sprawled out on her cot, or even resting quietly on his bed. 

Tears fell down his face… how many times has he cried over this girl.

Water? He heard water, and it wasn't his own tears falling to the floor. It was the shower. How did he not think to check the bathroom, he had to have walked passed it at least a dozen times. How stupid of him.

The bathtub was overflowing, water pouring out over the tiled floor, and there in the middle of the room lay an unconscious Hermione granger.

He had been gone too long, over an hour really. She knew she was growing weak. Her stomach churned and the floor began to sway under her feet. She couldn't help but wonder if that's what it was like to be drunk. Oh whatever… she just needed to relax, she could make it without him if she could just relax.

The decision to draw a bath may not have been the smartest one. Hermione realized that when her legs began to give. How was she going to explain to Severus that she thought it would be a good idea to get naked and sit in a tub full of water when she knew she would pass out and could easily drown. Luckily for her she fainted before getting into the tub. However she was still very much undressed when he found her. 

“Shit!” He muttered, averting his eyes from her naked body. He threw a towel over her before picking her up and carrying her to his bed. He began pacing again, bad habit, and talking to himself out loud.

“Aggh she needs me, but i can't very well lay with her unclothed. What do I do, what do I do, what do i do? I'll have to dress her myself.”

‘Severus’ Her thoughts! He could hear her thoughts!

“Oh gods Hermione, you couldn't have just laid on the bed?” His words were serious, but he laughed with relief as he said it.

‘I know. Im sorry.’

“It's gonna be okay dear. I'm going to get you dressed then i'm going to lay with you until you get your strengths back.” 

Hermione couldn't move, but she was fully alert and completely embarrassed. She blushed.

‘Please just throw a blanket over me and save me the embarrassment.’ Her mind pleaded with him.

“I can't lay with you if you don't have clothes on.” He stated simply.

‘Sir, you wouldn't have to see me or touch me.’

He couldn't function correctly when she called him sir, even in her thoughts. He hadnt meant to, but he let out a deep groan before blushing a bright shade of red.

“No Hermione, you don't understand. I can't lay with you while you're less than decent, because i don't know if i could control myself.”

She understood. She wouldn't have minded for him to lose control, but she respected his morals, so she let him dress her. 

She felt like a doll as he maneuvered her body to pull one of his large nightshirts over her head. She had no doubt that he did his best to avert his eyes as he pulled a pair of her panties over her legs and she felt him flinch a bit when his knuckles accidentally grazed her bottom.

Finally, he laid next to her, pulling her limp body into his arms. He was warm. She hadn't realized how cold she had been until now. For the first time, her head was laid on his chest instead of in his lap, and she took comfort in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She let the thumping in his chest lull her into a natural sleep.

“You will be the death of me Hermione Granger.”


	11. For Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape breaks down. Slight trigger warning.

“Well you couldn't have put pants on her!?”

“Hush now Minnie, the girl is asleep.”

Hermione woke to two familiar voices. They weren't Severus’s, and in her groggy state she couldn't exactly pinpoint whose voices she was hearing. She hardly even noticed she wasn't still in his bed. He however was still with her. 

She could feel his lap under her legs where usually he would lay her head. His hand rested gently on her calf, his thumb gently grazing the skin there. She wondered if she had remembered to shave. 

She opened her eyes to see Professors Dumbledore and Mcgonnagal sitting in the two small chairs opposite the couch. She knew she recognized those voices.

Her eyes continued to wander. She noticed she was indeed still with Severus, and although a blanket was thrown over her waist, it was obvious, she was without pants.

Hermione felt a blush creep down her neck and over her face. This situation was very much uncomfortable. She felt the need to protect the man when she saw the glare Minerva had shot Severus. 

“I didn't want to embarrass her more than I had to. It was quicker to just dress her in my shirt and her.... She was completely naked when I found her. Would you rather have me lay with her like that?” He was determined to prove that he did not violate her, but his plan backfired.

“You laid with her?!” She yelled. 

Hermione's protective instincts flared and she shot up ready to defend him. She was barely upright before the dizziness took over. She cried out as a sharp pain shot through her body like a jolt of electricity. 

Severus pulled her to his chest as panic ran through him. 

“Hermione!” He checked her pulse and sighed in relief. “You're okay dear. It's okay.” He assured her as she winced. “You just need more rest.” He petted her hair as her eyes fluttered closed and she once again fell asleep.

Tears threatened to fall from Severus’s eyes as he held her close.

“Severus.” Albus started.

“I can't leave her again.” Snape buried his face in her hair. “I can't do this to her again.”

“You love her.” He stated simply.

“Maybe… i don't know. I-I I need her… and she needs me and…” He smiled as images played through her mind and into his. “And she's dreaming of me right now…” He looked up to meet his eyes. “Its beautiful albus, the two of us, together. I'm not resisting her… and she doesnt feel any guilt for tempting my morals. Oh how i wish it could be… But he'll call me back, the dark lord, and some way or another, he will take her from me, just like he took lily.” His face became angry. “And I'd die before I would let him touch her, but if I die, so does she. So now what Albus? Minerva? How do I save her life and mine and every bloody one else's? Tell me how I can do anything helpful when all I can think about is her. She's my student for fucks sake and I relish at the feeling of her in my arms. What kind of man does that make me? a sick one. That's what kind of man I am, I'm sick, I'm disgusting. I deserve everything Voldemort throws at me just for having thought of the girl in any way less than decent… But she wants me… i.. I want her.”

He broke down completely, sobbing into her hair. His breathing was rapid and his eyes were squeezed shut. He was overwhelmed by the guilt of everything. What kind of sick bastard fantasizes about kissing his student, of holding her, of loving her. And he couldn't even pay attention at the death eater meeting. He got no information because he was too distracted by her. Now what. What if he couldn't save her, what if… And what kind of pervert teases a girl, A GIRL, sexually like he did before. 

Oh he was throwing quite the pity party, not caring who saw. Severus Snape hated himself so much that if she would survive it, he'd end his life right then and there to spare everyone from the evil inside of him. Yes, they would all be better without him… except for her, because she couldn't exist without him.

It was then he decided he would live his life for her and her alone. He would do nothing unless it benefited her. He would continue to resist her desires for him until he knew it would be in her better interest to reciprocate, and then, and only then he would love her fully and completely without questions because screw morals, and screw human nature, the only thing that matters is her. Only her.

He lifted his head in determination. 

“How can I ensure that she survives this war?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the kind comments. If you have any questions, suggestions, or ideas, please let me know. you can comment here or private message me on wattpad @love_jupiter


	12. Her Best Interest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione is annoyed.

Hermione had had enough. Three days had passed since the headmaster, and professor McGonnagal had visited. She woke shortly after they left and Severus explained that they had been discussing war plans. He had been acting very strange since then, waiting on her hand and foot, but wouldnt look her in the eye. She'd barely been able to sit up without him insisting on helping her. 

She felt fine, well as fine as she could be considering, for two day, but still, she couldn't shake him. He wouldn't let her do anything for herself, and like i said, shed had enough.

“Severus i'm no child, if you're going to insist on doing everything for me, you could stop avoiding me.” She desperately wanted him to talk to her again, and she knew that he knew it. He could hear her thoughts for Merlin's sake.

“I'm sure I have no idea what youre talking about.” He stated coldly as he stirred the girls tea and flipped the page on her book.

She couldn't take it any longer. She shoved the tea back towards her and threw the book across the room. His eyes were wide as she stood up and marched towards the bathroom. She turned the shower on and sat down on the floo hiding her head in her knees. 

She watched as he sat down in the doorway like he usually did. Showering, the one thing he'd let her do by herself.

She didn't realize she was crying at first, but when she did she couldn't hold back. Her sobs echoed into his ears and it took everything he had not to turn around to comfort her. His comfort would only make her grow attached to him and that certainly would not be in her best interest. He couldn't do it anyways. He thought she was in the shower, not on the floor fully dressed.

She calmed herself and stood. She undressed and wet her hair before wrapping herself in a towel. She was too beat down to enjoy an actual shower. She didn't bother to get dressed before walking out passed him and plopping herself down on her cot. He would leave her be if she was undressed. Or maybe he would scold her, at least that way he'd actually talk to her.

Severus could hear her inner pleas for him. She wanted him to talk to her, maybe even hold her. She wanted things to go back to how they were before he left, when their biggest problem was her explicit thoughts. He wanted that too. More than anything, he wanted them to share the same bond they had been developing until three days ago… But he was certain that would not be in her best interest. 

He sat on his bed waiting for her to need anything. He couldn't do what she wanted him to do, but he'd do anything and everything else for her, even if just to prove that he cared. He knew he was getting on her nerves, but he had to do something or he'd break. 

His head was all over the place. Trying to decide what would be good for her and what wouldn't be. Would she hate him if he disappeared, just stayed out of sight but close enough to keep her strong. Were these feelings they were developing just a side effect of the curse? Did that even matter. 

His guilt overpowered his admiration for the girl… His guilt was partially because of his admiration for her. He wanted to wallow in self pity. He wanted to hate himself… end himself. But how could he when even though she was annoyed and utterly pissed at him, her thoughts towards him shined a light on just how much she thought of him.

Through her mind, he saw a smart man with gentle hands, she hoped they weren't always gentle, and a kind heart. She had so much trust in him, even with his hand around her throat. If any other man had her in that position she would have shook with fear. Through her eyes, his rigid features were handsome, and his harsh tone was soothing. He felt what she felt, and she felt joy. Everytime he looked at her. Everytime he cracked a rare smile. Everything about him set her mind and her body and her heart on fire, and she didn't know what it was. But he did and he just realized… She was in love with him.

That is certainly not in her best interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry for such a short chapter. I was wondering, would you rather sverus rek romatically or sexually if he gave in to his feeling for hermione?


	13. Self Destruct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The curse takes a toll on hermiones mind when severus grows distant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains glorrified self harm. Please do not read it if you are easily triggered. You will still be able to understand the story just as well without this chapter as i did my best not to put too many main details of the plot in this one. Anything very important will be in the end notes. Id also like to wish you a merry christmas. Thank you.

Hermione was growing depressed. She'd been stuck in Snape’s chambers for weeks, her only company a man who refused to hold her gaze, let alone a conversation. He refused to let her out of his sight, so she was not allowed to attend her classes. 

Instead, her professors would send her lessons and assignments to her via professor Snape himself. That is of course not including potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts. Severus insisted on teaching her those himself. 

Hermione had no idea what an utter catastrophe Hogwarts had become outside of the chambers in which she resided. Umbridge was causing chaos, inflicting painful punishments, and terrorizing the young witches and wizards who were only trying to learn from her. 

Severus only intended to protect her from the torture he knew her friends were facing, and he was doing a damned good job. 

Umbridge had no idea Hermione existed. There's no telling what she would do if she found out the girl had been living in her professors private chambers. She might actually skin them both, then skin Albus for allowing this, curse or not. 

Despite all of his worries and obsessions, Hermione wasn't happy, and that twisted his insides. He knew it was in her best interest, but she had no idea why she wasn't allowed to even see her friends. Of course for Snape it was for her own safety, but it was also necessary for the rest of those on the side of good in the war against evil. For the plan to work, she must be kept away from Harry Potter, the D.A, and the order… and she couldn't know about any of it.

As much as he wanted her to feel joy again, like she had before when he used to read to her, and she used to watch him brew, he couldn't let himself get close again. It would be too easy for him to give into his temptations. It would be so easy to hold her when she wanted to be held, kiss her when she wanted to be kissed, love her when she wanted to be loved… but that would be highly inappropriate and against her best interest… She only felt that way because of the curse anyways… Right?

It didn't matter. Curse or not, she was his student and he would not go back on his morals and he would not steal her innocence. 

Hermione knew he knew she was hurting, but he didn’t do anything about it. That hurt her more. She couldn't understand why he became so distant so quickly, and because of his distance, the curse was taking a toll on more than just her body.

Her mind and spirit were crushed. Her body was strong because he was physically near, but her mind was weak because of his emotional distance. She began to hate herself. She thought herself to be stupid and ugly and worthless.

He would tell her otherwise if he knew, but he could only hear thoughts about himself. 

She stood in front of the mirror dripping from her shower, her face scrunched up in disgust at what she saw in her reflection. Water ran down her face and she couldn't distinguish which streams were from her sopping hair and which streams were from her flooded eyes. Of course he didn't want her. She was tiny, and pale, and pathetic.

He heard that one. He was grateful she couldn't see the pained expression on his face. His stomach churned with the longing to stand up from his post in the doorway and wrap the crying girl in his arms. He would whisper to her just how beautiful she was and how much he really did want her. But the man was convinced that he wouldn't be good for her.

He didn't know how wrong he was.  
Severus didn't dare look at Hermione in fear that he might break if he saw her lovely face… or her tears running down it… so he didn't notice when she didn't eat for days, opting to magic away her portions before he could catch her. He didn't notice two days ago when she began to rip out her hair, or the way she stared at his old fashioned razor blade when he shaved wondering what it would feel like to run it over her own skin. She knew some muggles harmed themselves to feel better, and she could easily heal any wounds when she was done. 

It was all just so overwhelming. One minute she felt an immense surge of painful emotions and the next, nothing at all. What's worse, the pain or the numbness? 

Definitely the numbness.

So there she was naked and dripping wet testing herself in the mirror. She'd actually do it this time… Make herself feel better, or really just feel anything. She hesitated like she had the past few days, but she couldn't take it anymore. Shed felt mostly nothing in the past two weeks and if she did, shed only felt pain in the last three. 

She took a deep breath as she picked up the razor Severus had used to shave this morning and cast a cleansing charm. 

Breath in…

She pressed the sharp end into her skin right below her ribs.

Breath out…

She dragged the blade down her abdomen from her rib cage, to her pubic bone, biting back a wince. She stared in awe at the little beads of blood contrasting against her pale skin. 

‘Beautiful.’ She thought before repeating the same line on the other side. 

And there it was, she felt exhilarated… she felt content. Self destruction was the answer to all of her problems. She couldn't bring herself to heal the wounds. They were too lovely. They made her feel something. Shed never heard that this kind of pain would bring someone joy. The thin bloodied red lines gave her pride. She figured out how to be happy again. 

She dressed herself and walked past Snape with a cheeky grin plastered on her face. He almost wondered what it was that she was so happy about, but he didn't really care. He was just so glad to see her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To summerize the important things in this chapter, Hermione hasnt been let out of Severus's chambers for three weeks because its dangerous and part of the plan to win the war involves her staying away from harry. The curse puts it in her head that the only way for her to feel happy is to self desruct. I promise the next chapter wont be as depressing.


	14. The Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione was content with her new hobby, but she cant control her raging teenage hormones.

The next two weeks were heaven for Severus. He watched as Hermone basically swam in bliss nonstop. He was so elated that she had stopped thinking about how distasteful she must have been for him. And things were so much easier. Of course it hurt him that she was avoiding him, but he had started that trend first. And it didn't matter as long as she was happy.

Hermione added a few more pretty red lines to her collection. She found each one to be a masterpiece in and of itself, and snape was none the wiser. 

They would sit and read in silence and he would pretend not to watch as a small smile crept onto her face. 

Her new feelings of enlightenment made reading about a dead Ethan Wate trying to communicate with his Lena all the more enjoyable. Oh the love. She wished she had what they had. All that love even in the absence of physical touch. She would never be able to do that. Even in her elated state of mind, her new habit couldn't satiate her raging teenage hormones, and despite her best efforts, something inside her still craved the touch of the man she was bound to. 

She began to imagine herself as Ethan trying so hard to touch Lena despite the surging electricity her skin sent through his body. She imagined kissing her through the pain, even though it would surely stop her heart from beating. And Severus was her Lena. And Lena didn't want Ethan's heart to give out, so she wouldn't touch him. 

Her desperation only made her need to add to her collection of red lines. She knew it would help her cravings. Help, but not cure. 

“I need a shower.” Snape said before heading to the bathroom. Hermione followed and sat in her usual spot in the doorway. 

Severus turned on the water and began to undress. Hermione listened intently as each piece of clothing fell slowly to the floor. The buttons on his coat clinked as they hit the tiles and she couldn't help but to imagine watching as he unbuttoned his dress shirt. 

He would hold her gaze, with a sly smirk on his face as he undid each of them agonizingly slowly before sliding it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. She could picture his amazing bare abdomen, the muscles contracting as he stalked closer to her. His hands would run up her arms and graze over her neck before pushing her against the wall like he had twice before. Her knees would go weak like they had then. Oh she loved the feeling of his hand on her throat. This time though, he wouldn't hover or tell her no. His lips would be on hers as soon as her back hit the wall. She wondered what he would taste like. 

“Hermione please.” Severus grunted behind her. “Your thoughts…”

Hermione turned around without thinking. He was standing there in the foggy room without a shirt. The moisture clung to his bare chest and trickled down the lean musculature of his pale abdomen. He ran a hand through his long hair, the muscles in his arms contracting as he did so. She had never seen his arms before now and she wondered how she had never thought of arms as something sexual before.

Severus felt her desire grow tenfold as she imagined what his arms would look like as his hands ran over different parts of her body. Her lips parted slightly as her eyes traveled over his body for the first time before meeting his. He could feel it before, but now he could physically see her desires plastered on her face, swimming in her eyes… He broke.

It only took one step before Snape crushed her body to his. In half a second his hand was tangled in her hair and he was only a breath away from her lips. He almost hesitated. He wouldn't have done it if he hesitated, but he didn't. And so his lips finally found hers and she gasped as he kissed her for the first time. 

Hermione's hands ran over his chest as he lost himself in her. He could feel her head spinning as he let his hand leave her hair to travel over her exposed neck, gently pressing his fingers into her flesh. She gasped as his lips left hers to hover over the delicate skin under her jaw. 

“You taste like cinnamon.” She breathed. He chuckled and she almost moaned at the beautiful sound.

“Am I to understand,” His breath tickled her skin beneath his lips. “That you don't like it when I hover?” His voice was low and silky as he spoke.

She shivered as his hot breath trailed over her jaw and up to her ear. 

“Well Miss Granger, I'm afraid you will have to deal with that as I quite like making you squirm.” His teeth caught her lobe and she moaned loudly much to her embarrassment. 

He found it hard to keep his composure when she made sounds like that, but he was determined to tease and taunt her until she was putty. 

His mouth finally found her neck. His lips parted as he ran his tongue over her sensitive flesh. Her breath hitched and she trembled as her knees went weak under his touch. 

Severus kept her upright with his hand placed firmly at her lower back. His other hand ran up her body too slowly for her taste. It was tauntingly slow and she couldn't help but plead with him.

“P-please sir. I need,” She gasped. “I need you to touch me.”

He couldn't deny her that request. She had called him sir after all. His fingers grazed over her clothed nipple, causing a shiver to run down her spine. He loved the way her body reacted to even his most delicate touch. His hand found its way under the hem of her shirt. He kissed her lips softly before pulling her shirt up over her head. 

His eyes moved to take in her bare skin, and his heart nearly stopped at the sight of the girl before him. 

On each side of her beautiful abdomen, a thick pink scar drew a line from the bottom of her rib cage, to the top of her pubic bone. Two even pinker ones welted up under the bottom of her bra. Two almost healed right over her navel. Two barely scabbed over on each shoulder. Two still bleeding under her collar bone. 

A sob escaped his lips as the tears welled up in his eyes. How did he not notice? 

He began to tremble as guilt and grief overtook him. His knees hit the floor hard, but he didn’t even wince at the pain. He just pulled her down with him and held her to his chest as he cried. 

The steam billowed around them as he struggled to speak. 

“Oh Hermione…. I'm so sorry.”


	15. Morals Be Damned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione realises what shes done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait. Please enjoy.

“It seems as though she's experiencing new side effects from the curse.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” Severus growled at Poppy. 

Hermione was passed out in Snape's lap as the mediwitch ran diagnostics over her body. After the equivalent of a muggle psych eval, it was made clear that her recent obsession with self mutilation wasn't her own psychological issues. It was an unforeseen side effect, it must have been. Of course, the curse was completely unique so it took Madam Pomfrey a good week to figure it out. Hermione had been sedated the entire time so that she couldn't cause any more damage to her perfect body. 

“Hush now boy, let the witch speak.” Minerva scolded, nodding to poppy to continue. 

“Well as I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted,” She barely noticed the sneer Severus shot at her, “it looks like the curse can't be sated merely by physical closeness. You mentioned before that you were trying to distance yourself emotionally?”

“Yes. I was getting too close, too attached. My feelings for the girl were becoming… less than decent. The sheer inappropriateness of it all… Gods… I couldn't let myself do that to her.” It was the most honest he could have been.

“You can't do that anymore. Emotional distance is just as deadly to her as physical distance, only instead of her body growing weak, her mind becomes unstable. The aspect of death becomes appealing, and the feeling of pushing herself closer to death becomes pure ecstasy and it keeps feeling better and better until she causes her own demise in search of that reprieve from the constant rejection that the bond forces her to feel, because she does feel like you're rejecting her. Don't you understand Severus? She's completely bonded to you. Her mind, her body, every fiber of her being craves you. And you have the curse as well so you must want her too don't you?”

“Obviously.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus’ mind kept drifting back to a week prior. He had finally let go, finally gave himself something he wanted. The feeling of her lips against his own had been the most amazing feeling. His heart pounded in his chest and his brain all but shut off completely. The only thing he could think about in that moment had been his growing affections for the girl. Morals be damned, he wanted her. 

His heart almost shattered when he saw the thin pink lines adorning her lovely body. He thought he would keel over purely out of grief when she was genuinely confused as to why he was upset about it. His throat grew sore from the loud sobs he couldn't hold back when she tried to explain that it felt good. It took almost three hours before he had calmed down enough to floo Poppy and another hour before he could talk without stuttering and sobbing before he could explain what was going on. He couldn't fathom why Hermione was upset that he had bothered Poppy and the girl sat with her nose in a book, refusing to speak to either of the adults in the room. 

He didn't know if he would feel this way if they hadn't been cursed, and that was part of the reason he had been holding back. But a cure wouldnt come in their lifetime. They would live together and they would die together, so what was the point in denying feelings that would never go away, even if those feelings might not have come from his own desires, but rather from the connection forced upon the two of them. It felt real enough either way. 

Hermione was waking up now. Severus watched as her eyelashes fluttered against her beautiful cheeks. He stroked her hair gently as her eyes slowly opened. He offered a shy smile as she took in his features above her. 

“Pro-professor?” The bushy haired girl was taking in her surroundings in a confused manner.  
He pulled her to his chest in an effort to console her. Her curls tickled his chin as he rocked slightly. He relished in the feeling of her in his arms, her cheek flush against his clothed chest. He could feel her panicked breathing even out as she relaxed against him. 

“Severus, hermione. You call me Severus.” 

“Mmm Severus.” She sighed his name sleepily as she snuggled into him. She sounded almost content as she began to cling to him desperately. Her hands gripped at his robes as if she were scared he would leave her, and honestly she had a valid reason. 

“I'm here Hermione. I'm not going anywhere.” He assured her in the softest tone he could muster and he held her a little tighter when she let out a strangled sob. 

The reality of things were hitting her with a force greater than a tsunami. How could she have done that to herself and not have seen the problem. She would have permanent scars adorning her body which she was already insecure about. And she had been angry with Severus when he reacted the way he did even though his reaction was completely justified. It proved that he cared about her, that he was scared of losing her. She did that. 

“I'm so sorry. So so sorry.” She sobbed into his chest. Her grip tightened around a fist full of soft lack teaching robes.

“It's not your fault dear. It was the curse.” He kissed the top of her head. As much as he hated seeing her in such distress, he couldn't help but be glad that she finally understood what she had done, and he was sure that as long as he didn't try to detach from her, she wouldn't do it again. 

Despite his assurances, she still shook as silent sobs racked her frail, tired body. He stroked her wet cheek gently with the pad of his thumb. 

“Look at me Hermione.” She did as she was told and he had to hold back his own sob as a slow tear fell over her temple and into her messy hair. “It was not your fault, and I will not let it happen again.”

He shifted her up slightly before silently searching her eyes for permission. Of course he didn't need to do that because her mind was racing with thoughts of him and one stood out. ‘Please kiss me.’ And he had no problem leaning down and pressing his lips against her own, fulfilling her silent request. 

Morals be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does a broke bitch go about finding a beta reader? 
> 
> As always, feel free to make any suggestions.


	16. Headmaster's Scheme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus has a chat with Albus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special credit to @Glass-NotCannon for their amazing ideas and editing of this chapter.

Albus watched in awe as the professor before him stared longingly at the beautiful lass draped across the couch. Her mane sprawled out in every direction on his lap with a stray strand laying across her tightly closed eyes. Severus looked out of place gently stroking her curls with the faintest of smiles donning his stark features. This was a man who, before now, no one knew if he felt any emotion at all. This man had always kept his face straight, save for his signature menacing smirk. His sole emotion was disdain… until now.

It was fortunate that they agreed to meet in Severus’s room instead of Albus’s office. Had the couple tried to make their way to the other end of the castle, their situation could have been revealed much sooner than either could be prepared for. They never talked about how they would handle their secret being found out, but they both knew it would not be good, and the reasons behind their newfound closeness would be ignored in favor of a more interesting story involving a perverted old man and a coerced student. They couldn't have that.

Severus’s love for the girl was blatantly obvious. His face, his voice, his body, everything about him screamed ‘I love this girl’. Had they been allowed to return to class, anyone could notice the way they acted towards each other. Since she woke up, it was like the two were engrossed in a dance that only they knew, spinning… turning… gliding together as if their every movement was choreographed. When she moved, so did he. When she spoke, his head turned. He noticeably relaxed with her every breath. Surely anyone around would notice the high the professor was on. They would notice that even as he spoke to someone else, his eyes never left her, and he didn't even notice how obvious he was.

“Have you told her, Severus?” 

Severus's eyes lifted to his for only a split second before diverting back to the girl in his lap.

“Told her what?” He questioned the old man before him. 

“That you love her of course,” he answered in a matter-of-fact tone. It should have been obvious what he was implying.

“I haven't… It's not that I don't want to… I Just… I-I… I don't want to just randomly tell her I love her. I ignored her for weeks then jumped her in my bathroom. She deserves more than that.” He was so angry at himself. 

How could he do that to her! How could he ever think ignoring her would be in her best interest! And then he had the nerve to kiss her? It wasn't romantic. It wasn't filled with love. No! It was in the middle of his fucking bathroom and he was consumed with lust. He would have taken her right then had he not been distracted by the scars and cuts adorning her body. He would have made her his without a second thought to her age or her innocence. In the middle of his fucking bathroom. That was their first kiss. 

“You want it to be special,” Albus sang in an accusing tone. Severus’s jaw dropped in realization.

“I-I… I guess I do.” His features softened and he smiled down at Hermione. 

“The ball,” Albus said after a few moments of silence.

“What are you going on about, old man?” Severus’s voice held none of its usual malice. 

“The order is holding a ball this coming Saturday. Of course, Mister Potter and Mister Weasley will be there, but it's a masquerade. I have no doubt the two of you will be able to disguise yourselves. You can dance with her, tell her how you feel, take her home, and have your way with her.” He grinned ear to ear, happy with his idea. Severus scoffed.

“You do know she's a student, right? And she's underaged. I love her Albus, but I am not going to be a pervert.” He cringed as he remembered the way he acted in the bathroom.

“What if the curse calls for it? You're the one who said her thoughts were ‘less than innocent’, Severus. That doesn’t sound much like Hermione Granger now does it?” Severus couldn't tell if the man was asking him or trying to convince him.

“If the curse calls for it, we will figure something out. I will not take her until she is of age. Imagine if the ministry finds out. I'll be sent to Azkaban, curse or not.” 

He had no doubt that the ministry would leave his beloved to die if they found out about any intimate relationship between the two. They would hear nothing of her needing him to survive. They would whisk him away and she would die before his public trial where they would label him a child predator. Of course, she wasn't really a child. She had gained at least two years with the use of a time turner, but they couldn't know that. No, to the world, she was just less than a year short of seventeen, just less than a year short of being of age.

Nevertheless, Albus's plan was good, aside from the last bit. This coming Saturday, Severus would present Hermione with a dress and whisk her away to the ball like a princess. He would ask her to dance and she would gladly take his hand. He would spin her around the dance floor and time would stop for them. It would be like they were the only people in the room when he whispered to her how he felt. Yes, that's how it would go...

Or something like that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading, if you have any ideas or suggestions feel free to le me know.


	17. That one blond git (And his lovely wife)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione loves her dress, and severus has a conversation with his childhood 'friend'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special credits to my wonderful beta reader @Glass-NotCannon

The dress was beautiful. Gold embroidery danced in swirling patterns of leaves and vines over the shimmering red fabric that clung to Hermione’s form. It was almost a sin the way the color complimented the skin of her shoulders. The collar was the same golden ribbon of dancing leaves. It criss crossed over her chest before wrapping around her neck like a halter. A little pink scar peaked out from her collarbone, but Severus wasn't going to point that out. He wouldn't do anything that could make her uncomfortable. Tonight was about her and her happiness. No need to ruin it with something as trivial as a noticeable scar, especially when she was so stunning in that gown that no one would give the scar a second thought.

He shook off any thought of his love hurting herself and the reasons behind it. Those reasons wouldn't exist after tonight anyways. He would never distance himself from her again… at least not willingly.

He stood behind her as she admired herself in the mirror, trying not to smile too brightly at the sight before him. Her face was bright and happy, and her thoughts were filled with love and joy. She knew she looked good and he could tell that it had surprised her. Hermione had never been fond of her own appearance. Tonight, in that dress though, she felt like a princess… and Severus heard her thoughts more than once envisioning him as her prince.

Severus was truly amazed by the way she saw him. He couldn't believe she felt that way about him but rarely had a positive thought about herself. How could she look at herself and think she wasn't worthy of him? How could she look at him and think that he was too good for her? How could she when he knew that the opposite was true?

Her eyes flicked up to his in the mirror as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. He loved the way his head felt lighter with her in his arms. Her heart swelled and he chuckled when her mind became foggy. The only clear picture he could get was a flicker of images of the moment running through her overactive brain.

One second her focus was on the feeling of his hands grazing over her hips before resting one over the other on her belly. Then she was swooning over the sensation of his body pressed up against her back. Then it was the gentleness of it all when he finally rested his chin on top of her bushy head. The last picture he saw was his own face… his black eyes softer than usual, his thin lips upturned hinting a smile, the blush on his own usually pale face. He felt her love and he knew that he was doing the right thing, and that put his mind at ease.

At this moment his conscience went silent. He felt no guilt for loving the girl before him. He didn't feel wrong for wanting her. There was no longer a weight sitting on his shoulders when he heard her longing thoughts. The things that held him back before became irrelevant at that moment. Screw propriety, screw age, screw morals, screw everything but his undying love for her. She was everything. His student, his friend, his family, his bonded, his… Hermione.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by her lovely voice.

“The dress is quite lovely, Severus… but what is it for?” The ever-curious Hermione Granger asked of his gift.

Severus smiled. He couldn't help it. She was just so damn perfect.

He buried his face in her hair and began swaying. Of course, he was nervous. How could he not be? He'd never asked someone out before. Oh, but as nervous as he was, he was even more so determined.

“There's this ball,” he said in a sing-song voice, his face still hidden in her unruly locks.

“A ball?” She questioned back.

“Mhm. With music and dancing,” he answered in the same dreamy tone as before. It was quite unlike him.

“And you want to go?” She asked skeptically.

“It would be good to make an appearance, prove I’m not dead and all…. But mostly, I would really like to go… with you that is.” He couldn't help the nervous shake to his voice as he answered.

She pondered for a moment before speaking again.

“People would see us together,” she didn't want to say no to him, but they couldn't risk being noticed.

His face brightened again as he reached into his coat pulling out a gold wire-wrapped half masque. The design matched the embroidery on her dress, and it sported a webbing of rubies right where it would sit above her brow.

“Did I mention it's a masquerade?”

Her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It would most definitely put her dress to shame if it didn't compliment it so well. She swooned as he put it over her face. She’d never looked as lovely as she did now… a true Gryffindor princess.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Severus was fuming. What he thought would be a small thing for the order was actually a huge ordeal with hundreds of people in sparkling gowns and formal robes. He recognized most of the younger couples as current Hogwarts students, their parents watched them with dazzled eyes as they spun with their partners. Cringeworthy puppy love at its finest. He also recognized various shopkeepers and Hogwarts alumni. Order members conversed in groups near the edges of the room. This was definitely not a celebration for the order.

He stood in a large arched doorway in his usual black robes and coat without a masque. Only a scowl donned his face when he noticed Albus’s twinkling eyes watching him from across the room. His gaze shifted to Hermione who sat alone and unnoticed at an elaborately decorated table at the edge of the dance floor. His face softened as he remembered why he was here.

‘Just a few more minutes and I can be with her,’ he thought to himself. ‘I just need to make my presence known, then I can change.’

“Hello Lucius.” Snape greeted his childhood best friend. Of course, he couldn't stand the man now.

“Oh, look who's here, Cissy,” Lucius called over his wife who was contentedly watching her son waltzing with a lovely Slytherin lass. “Severus, have you finally come out of hiding?” the man teased.

Severus bit his tongue to keep his face. It wouldn't do him any good to snap at the man whose trust he needed the most.

“Only for a few more moments old friend. I have a treatment scheduled for tonight,” he lied.

“Ah yes. The mysterious ailment that has kept you out of class and out of meeting with you know who. Tell me Severus, what is this ‘ailment’ that has you so tied up and so-- vulnerable?” He questioned skeptically.

“Draco didn't tell you?” He teased back.

“Tell. Me. What?” The blonde seethed.

“Calm now, Lucius. At the beginning of term, your son threw an unknown curse at the Weasley spawn and his little girlfriend. It would have been quite brilliant had it not hit the lass and me instead. Of course, she took the brunt of it and is now… let us say… ‘out of the picture’,” he explained half-truthfully.

“You mean to say that that scum of the earth mudblood is dead?” Lucius was almost giddy.

“No, not dead. In sort of a ‘residential’ treatment until they find a cure. The life draining aspect of Draco’s curse was bloody brilliant,” he lied again. To really sell the story he was weaving, he started to sway as if he were becoming dizzy and silently cast a warming charm on his robes.

Beads of sweat gathered along Severus’s forehead and upper lip and he faked a shiver. The swaying really was making him dizzy, so he didn't have to fake that. He didn't miss the worried look Narcissa Malfoy was giving him and he almost couldn't help the little smirk ready to tug on the corners of his mouth at his little triumph.

“Maybe you should get going then, Sevvy. You aren't looking too well.”

Severus liked Narcissa. She really was a kind woman, nothing like her deranged sister. Of all the Black family, she was the only one Severus found any worth in talking to, even before her marriage to Lucius. That wasn't her choice either. She was bound to Lucius Malfoy the moment the spell confirmed she was female. She fought the bond for years before finally giving in. A bond is a bond. Severus could understand that because of the one he has with Hermione. Though admittedly, theirs was at least ten times stronger than the one Cissy's parents forced upon her and Lucius. Even though the blonde man thought he held the title, his wife was truly Severus’s best friend, and just as she had asked him to protect her son, he would soon be asking her to do the same for the woman he loved.

The professor took his leave after a few more moments of conversation with the Malfoys, purposely stumbling on his way out. It was time to enact Albus's plan, and he couldn't be more nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As aways, ideas and suggestions are always welcome.   
> Please vote on an ending to this story (Though its not coming any time soon)
> 
> 1.) Happy ending  
> 2.) Sad ending  
> 3.) Bittersweet ending


	18. When Plans Go To Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the ball proceeds, Severus is upset when things dont work out the way he plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to @glass-NotCannon for their amazing beta work and for literally saving this chapter.

Hermione couldn't help but admire the room. She liked the way the golden tealights floated around to the rhythm of the music. The dancing candles were her only source of entertainment at that moment. The room ‘was’ beautiful, but the festivities could not hold her interest. Beautiful… and boring.

She was lonely. Severus was all the way on the other side of the ballroom conversing with those terrible Malfoys, and she could recognize her friends across from her on the dance floor having a jolly old time without her. They did not recognize her. 

She knew she shouldn't feel so petty about that. It had been her intention to not be noticed by them and it had worked. But there she was alone at a ball staring at some stupid dancing candles… oh but they ‘were’ lovely. 

She sighed before tearing her eyes away from the lights swirling next to her friends to look around the room again. Dumbledore was dancing with a man less than half his own height, Fred Weasley was spiking the punch… or was it George… and a short woman dressed head to toe in bubblegum pink was walking around with a ruler, measuring skirt lengths and swatting the hands of boys who dared let their hands travel too low on their date’s back. Severus was no longer chatting with the elder Malfoy, and she couldn't spot him in the crowd.

“Stop worrying. You worry loudly,” a voice sounded beside her.

Hermione looked up to see a tall man with his hand outstretched towards her. He wore a black tailcoat with silver trim and emerald buttons over a white dress shirt with a high collar. Over one shoulder hung a green velvet floor-length cape. Half of his black hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and his silver wire-wrapped masque brought out the beautiful black of his eyes. It was so clearly him, her Slytherin prince, but even she wouldn't have recognized him if it wasn't for his velvety voice. 

“S-severus?” She whispered. 

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest and her face grew hot. She could feel the blush consuming her whole body. It was hot. Too hot.

‘How am I not sweating?’ She thought. 

“Dance with me dear.” It was something between a question and a demand, but she didn't seem to care or even notice because before he could say anything else she took his hand and let him help her from her seat.

It would have been completely romantic if she hadn’t tripped over anything before they even made it to the dancefloor. There was still a chance for it to be the perfect moment Severus had imagined, except as soon as the couple began dancing he had stepped on her toes. Of course, they kept trying, but it just wasn't going to work. By the time the song ended she had kicked him in the shin and he had almost ripped her dress when his buttons caught on her collar. It wouldn't have been all that bad, but at the end of the dance, he had tried to pick her up for some reason and ended up with a knee in the groin.

“This is not what I had planned,” he croaked out through the pain. 

“I'm so sorry. Oh gods im so--” She started to cry. 

This was all going so terribly wrong.

“Damn it! Damn it damn it damn it!” He was nearly throwing a fit. It was very unlike him and quite amusing. 

“Severus.” She giggled.   
He calmed down for just a moment to take both her hands in his own. The only reason he stayed calm was because he could feel her enjoyment. It was almost screaming at him the way her mind did the first time he realized he could hear her thoughts. Maybe this ‘was’ the right time. Maybe the night wasn't completely ruined.

“Hermione. Gods dear. Hermione I-” before he could finish she interrupted him.

“You're amazing. You know that?” She spoke with a tone of obvious adoration. 

Even if he couldn't hear her thoughts, he would believe her. The sincerity of her words seemed to glimmer in her beautiful eyes. He was completely bewildered. He froze, her hands still clutched in his own. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he could only stare in amazement. Her honesty was almost too much. 

He wasn't amazing… he was the ugly, greasy git of a professor who lived alone in the dungeons. Only… He did not live alone anymore. He had her. She was there with him, and she didn't think he was ugly. She didn't think he was a bastard or a git. She saw the best in him. She saw the man behind the mask. She saw past his hard shell, past his disturbing history. In her eyes, he wasn't a death eater. He wasn't an evil old man. He was a hero in the making. He was her Slytherin prince, her best friend, her life force… the man she loved. 

He could see it all through her eyes. It wasn't the same as looking in the mirror because in the mirror he was all of the things everyone else believed, but in her eyes, he was the man he wanted to be. And he saw that that truth, the man in her eyes, he was there even before the damned curse. He knew it now. She had always seen the best in him. The only difference now is that before she admired him. He was a mysterious hero and she had longed for him to teach her, she had longed for him to approve of her, and now he did, and now she loved him and now he loved himself. The fate of her world rested in his hands and he knew now more than ever that he would sacrifice anything to protect her world and to protect her. If he could do it without damning her to the same fate, he would die for her. 

She. Was. Everything.

He spoke.

“I love you Hermione.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im still taking votes on the ending (Id appreciate if you didnt vote twice)
> 
> 1.) Happy  
> 2.) sad  
> 3.) Bittersweet
> 
> And as usual, ideas and suggestions are very welcome and id gladly answer any questions you might have. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.


	19. Apologies Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Severus are caught in the middle of their moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge huge thanks to my beta reader for their work on this chapter

“That was quite the scene, Sev,” Narcissa Malfoy caught Severus’s attention, interrupting his moment with Hermione. 

His heart began to pound in his chest. The aspect of getting caught had crossed his mind, but he never imagined it would actually happen. He looked around in a panic hoping to identify anyone else who may have noticed his presence. No one seemed to realize anything was amiss. 

“Oh quit your panic, Severus. ‘Notice me not’ goes a long way.” She said in a motherly tone.

“Oh hell, Narcissa!” Severus half teased, though his body was still flooded with adrenaline. “We were kind of having a moment here.”

“Ah yes. Just an old man confessing his love to a girl, a GIRL, who's what? Your student perhaps? What the hell are you thinking Sev!” She smacked him in the arm the way a mother would her misbehaving child. Someone growled beside them. 

The older pair looked at the girl both with equally shocked expressions. 

“Dear, what-” Severus started. He wasn't able to finish his sentence before Hermione stepped in front of him protectively. It was quite the sight really, she was so small and dainty compared to him, but the way she held her head and the way her lips curled back against her teeth, she was a lioness ready to pounce.

“Do NOT-” She started “Touch him.” The last two words were softer than the first.

Narcissa gasped and held her hands up in mock surrender… Severus chuckled and pulled her back into his chest. 

“Calm now, Dear. She meant no harm.” His grin did not falter. This was the Hermione he recognized from before that day in class. This was the fierce Gryffindor princess. The girl who would do anything to protect the people she loves or go down trying. This was the version of her that he knew was truly her, and he was someone she wanted to protect. He was someone she loved. 

This curse seemed to make her someone she wasn't. Hermione Granger was not weak. She was not dependent on someone else. She was not depressed, not self-destructive, not insecure. She was strong and brave and loyal and everything anyone could ask for and finally, her true self was showing through the persona that her symptoms forced upon her. He finally gave in and let the bond take its course. He let himself fall and he was so glad for it because maybe now, maybe with the symptoms under control, Hermione Granger could just be Hermione Granger. The only difference would be that now, she had him by her side, and that's exactly where he wanted to be. That, he decided, would certainly be in her best interest.

“I won't touch him again, Darling. Please stand down,” Narcissa reasoned with the girl who, despite being crushed against Severus’s chest, had drawn out her wand. She reluctantly lowered it before turning into him to hide the flush of embarrassment that spread over her masked face. 

“Maybe we should go somewhere more private,” Severus suggested. “It seems i've a bit of explaining to do.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narcissa was shocked and in quite an inelegant way. Her mouth hung slightly open and her brows nearly touched her hairline. It wasn't long until her brows lowered and furrowed, shifting from confusion to anger. Anger turned into disbelief and then her eyes shone with something akin to guilt.

“And my son… My son did this to you?” her voice was shaky and the disappointment was evident in the way she pronounced each word. 

The three of them were sipping tea in Severus’s sitting room, still clad in their formal masquerade attire, while the couple explained to the woman the intricacies of the curse her son had them under. Hermione nodded.

“Yes, Mrs. Malfoy. Draco sabotaged my potion in class and my hot headed friend tried to fight him. I don't believe he meant to do much harm, and he wasn't aiming for us, but ultimately, yes, he did do this,” she explained softly. She didn't want the woman to think she held contempt for her son.

“I am so sorry,” she buried her face in her hands.

“No need to apologize, Mrs. Malfoy. Like I said, I doubt he meant to cause anything so serious. It was likely all an accident.”

“The girl is right, Cissy. You have no need to apologize, though I do hold some anger towards Draco for harming Hermione,” Severus admitted.

“I'm fine now, Severus. If iIm right and it was an accident, you shouldn’t be angry with him. He is your godson after all, and it's not like he hasn't bullied me and my friends since first year. He's still the same Draco,” she didn't know why she was defending him, but it felt like the right thing to do.

“You're right, Dear. He has bullied you since first year, so why should I forgive him so soon?” he was suddenly angry. For five years, someone he loved had hurt the girl he cared for so deeply. How could he forgive that? How could he-

“You did too, Severus.” Hermione said in a stern voice. “You made fun of me in the same way he did right up until he cursed us. It was only worse coming from him because he always made constant remarks about my blood status. He called me a filthy little mud-” She cringed before she could finish the word. “He was worse, but you did it too and I forgave you.”

He was taken aback by her words. She was right. Everything she said was completely true and he hated himself for it. He pulled her into his side and kissed the top of her head while he muttered a gentle apology. She smiled.

“If it was truly an accident then I suppose I have nothing to be angry about,” he gave in. 

“Wow, she has really got you hooked, Sev,” Narcissa chuckled. 

“Dumbledore should be here soon, Mrs. Malfoy. If what Severus tells me is true, if you really are on the right side of this mess, then we must inform you of our plans moving forward,” Hermione gave a small smile. 

“Please, call me Cissy, Darling. I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot of each other in the near future. No need for such formalities, and I do despise that name.” Hermione nodded in response.

“Speaking of the future, Narcissa I need to ask you a favor… in private.” Severus untangled himself from a reluctant Hermione and led his friend into the kitchen.

“What is it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments, suggestions, and ideas are always appreciated. Voting is still open for the ending (Happy is in the lead) and ive put out a new story as well
> 
> 'When the Dog Bites' is a Hermione Granger werewolf au. 
> 
> Ill try to finish the next chapter quickly. very sorry for the wait.


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